I have always wondered, what is Love? And what is it like to fall in Love? Is it the holding of hands and dancing around trees, like they show in our movies? Is it bunking college/ office and spending time with each other? Is it something else?

God gave me my answers recently. Yes I fell. Nothing happens like it is said in out Hindi filmy songs. I didn’t lose the interest in eating. I didn’t even become insomniac. But still the feeling is very different, very pure and very close to my heart. But still some questions remain unanswered and I have some new ones coming to my mind.

I just want to ask them who are reading through. Does it automatically gives the guy to put blame or show distrust on the girl when they “are in love”? Does the girl become wrong and insensitive if she tries to say that she has a brain of her own? Falling in love is actually a curse that is gift wrapped in sweet words and lots of hugs and kisses? I am not sure of all these, but I am afraid that the answer could be a “Yes” to all these questions of mine.

The fact that two people come closer and start knowing each other will bring out the negative aspects of them for sure (which all of us have. Nobody is born perfect.), but does that mean you get the rights to say that you’ve been cheated. And that the truth was not there before. Being in love is wonderful but only till you have the courage to take in the negatives of your partner as happily as you take in the positives.

We have more to be proud off than what the Infosys and Wipro's of India provide..........I visited Jamshedpur over the weekend to see for myself an India that is fast disappearing despite all the wolf-cries of people like Narayanamurthy and his ilk.

It is one thing to talk and quite another to do and I am delighted to tell you that Ratan Tata has kept alive the legacy of perhaps India's finest industrialist J.N. Tata.

Something that some people doubted when Ratan took over the House of the Tata's but in hindsight, the best thing to have happened to the Tata's is unquestionably Ratan.

I was amazed to see the extent of corporate philanthropy and this is no exaggeration.

For the breed that talks about corporate social responsibility and talks about the role of corporate India, a visit to Jamshedpur is a must.

Go there and see the amount of money they pump into keeping the town going; see the smiling faces of workers in a region known for industrial unrest; see the standard of living in a city that is almost isolated from the mess in the rest of the country. This is not meant to be a puff piece. I have nothing to do with Tata Steel, but I strongly believe the message of hope and the message of goodness that they are spreading is worth sharing. The fact that you do have companies in India which look at workers as human beings and who do not blow their software trumpet of having changed lives. In fact, I asked Mr. Muthurman, the managing director, as to why he was so quiet about all they had done and all he could offer in return was a smile wrapped in humility, which said it all.

They have done so much more since I last visited Jamshedpur, which was in 1992. The town has obviously got busier but the values thankfully haven't changed. The food is still as amazing as it always was and I gorged, as I would normally do. I visited the plant and the last time I did that was with Russi Mody. But the plant this time was gleaming and far from what it used to be. Greener and cleaner and a tribute to
environment management.

You could have been in the mountains. Such was the quality of air I inhaled! There was no belching smoke, no tired faces and so many more women workers, even on the shop floor. This is true gender equality and not the kind that is often espoused at seminars organised by angry activists. I met so many old friends. Most of them have aged but not grown old. There was a spring in the air which came from a certain calmness which has always been the hallmark of Jamshedpur and something I savoured for a full two days in between receiving messages of how boring and decrepit the lack luster Fashion Week was.
Jamshedji Nusserwanji Tata had created an edifice that is today a robust company and it is not about profits and about valuation. It is not about who becomes a millionaire and who doesn't'. It is about getting the job done with dignity and respect keeping the age-old values intact and this is what I learnt.

I jokingly asked someone as to whether they ever thought of joining an Infosys or a Wipro and pat came the reply: "We are not interested in becoming crorepatis but in making others crorepatis." Which is exactly what the Tata's have done for years in and around Jamshedpur. Very few people know that Jamshedpur has been selected as a UN Global Compact City, edging out the other nominee from India, Bangalore. Selected
because of the quality of life, because of the conditions of sanitation and roads and welfare. If this is not a tribute to industrial India, then what is?

Today, Indian needs several Jamshedpur’s but it also needs this Jamshedpur to be given its fair due, its recognition. I am tired of campus visits being publicises to the Infosys and the Wipro's of the world. Modern India is being built in Jamshedpur as we speak. An India built on the strength of core convictions and nothing was more
apparent about that than the experiment with truth and reality that Tata Steel is conducting at Pipla.

Forty-eight tribal girls (yes, tribal girls who these corrupt and evil politicians only talk about but do nothing for) are being educated through a residential program over nine months. I went to visit them and I spoke to them in a language that they have just learnt :Bengali. Eight weeks ago, they could only speak in Sainthali, their
local dialect. But today, they are brimming with a confidence that will bring tears to your eyes. It did to mine. One of them has just been selected to represent Jharkand in the state archery competition.
They have their own women's football team and what's more they are now fond of education. It is a passion and not a burden.

This was possible because I guess people like Ratan Tata and Muthurman haven't sold their souls to some business management drivel, which tells us that we must only do business and nothing else. The fact that not one Tata executive has been touched by the Naxalites in that area talks about the social respect that the Tata's have earned.

The Tata's do not need this piece to be praised and lauded. My intent is to share the larger picture that we so often miss in the haze of the slime and sleaze that politics imparts. My submissions to those who use phrases such as "feel-good" and "India Shining" must first visit Jamshedpur to understand what it all means. See Tata Steel in action to know what companies can do if they wish to. And what corporate India needs to do. Murli Manohar Joshi would be better off seeing what Tata Steel has done by creating the Xavier Institute of Tribal Education rather than by proffering excuses for the imbroglio in the IIMs.

This is where the Advani's and Vajpayee’s need to pay homage. Not to all the Sai Babas and the Hugging saints that they are so busy with. India is changing inspite of them and they need to realise that. I couldn't have spent a more humane and wonderful weekend. Jamshedpur is an eye-opener and a role model, which should be made mandatory for replication. I saw corporate India actually participate in basic nation-building, for when these tribal girls go back to their villages, they will return with knowledge that will truly be life-altering.

Corporate India can do it but most of the time is willing to shy away. For those corporate leaders who are happier winning awards and being interviewed on their choice of clothes, my advice is visit Tata Steel, spend some days at Jamshedpur and see a nation's transformation. That is true service.

Tata Steel celebrated 100 years of existence in 2007. It won't be just a milestone in this company's history. It will be a milestone, to my mind of corporate transparency and generosity in this country. It is indeed fitting that Ratan Tata today heads a group that has people who are committed to nation building than just building influence and power.

JRD must be smiling wherever he is. And so must Jamshedji Nusserwanji. These people today have literally climbed every last blue mountain. And continue to do so with vigour and passion.

Thank God For The Tatas!

-By Lakshmi Mittal (Yes...It is written by Tata's competitor)
Who says India can not build world class facilities, Industries.? Give it to the right persons, not to kalmadis & Dixits. This new India flourishes not because of Political leadership but because of "n" number of focused entrepreneurs and among them Tatas are in a league of their own "Sharing it all" in a unique way quietly.

Its 'the day' of her life. The very special day of which all dream of. Yes, its the day Ayesha is getting married. Allz done and its the time for her to dress as the most beautiful looking lady today. Today is the day when she could enjoy what only a princess could. The luxury of being pampered and having a number of beauticians around to make her look the best and most outstanding today. Her red bridal lenga was lying on her bed and she sat in front of the big mirror getting her make up done. She had nothing to worry about, she had nothing to take care of today, but yet she felt as if she's missing something. She could feel the start of the big change that was about to come in her life.

She knew the man she was getting married to for quite some years now, but still she felt like he was a stranger. She had started to miss, what she always have had till now. Her family. She had never even imagined a day without them. She was lost in the thoughts of the past, of the times she had with her mom, sis, bro and her dearest dad. Among all these thoughts she didn't realize when she was ready. The bride was ready. And then Ayesha was left alone as it was important to other ladies to look good as well. For them it was an occasion when they could look their best. Her sister came barging in the room and asked “Di where are those pink sandals that you bought last month, I wanna wear them. Its a perfect match with my dress.” Ayesha no longer pestered if her sis wanted some of her things to use. She was lost in the thoughts of her past. Days that are not coming back.

Sitting all alone, she saw her laptop lying in the corner, she had two now, but this was extremely precious to her, being her first one, gifted by her Dad when she went to college. She opened it, the wallpaper was the same from few months. A picture clicked with her dad. Tears welled in her beautiful kajal lined eyes. She wanted to write all that she was thinking of. It felt as if words will fall short. From the window of her room,from her misty eyes, she could see her father busy looking after everything to be perfect. She saw her brother suddenly being so much responsible and running around the place, shouting at the decorators and caterers and all those others involved. She started to write down.

Dear Papa,
I want to say so much to you today, yet I have no words. Suddenly it feels like why time cannot run backwards. I miss all those times that we had together. When you were teaching me to make tea for the first time, when you taught me to ride a cycle, and then to drive a motorbike. You always saw a son in me, but yet let me stay a daughter to you. When I look back I realize all that I have with me today is because of you. I remember how you used to let me give opinions on all possible matters so that I can develop the decision making skills one day. How we would sit and discuss for long hours on different topics as if I was some grown up. You would always want to talk to me about the things happening in you office. I felt like a friend to you. All these days I have always been a daughter first, but today it feels that I am not going to stay that. I'll become someone's wife, daughter-in-law etc etc. It feels I am being taken away from you. I have always wanted to say this to you papa. I love you. You have been my ideal, my inspiration for all my life and whatever the society may say, I will always be your daughter first.

Love you
yours
Ayeshu.


Ayesha wrote all that she could, but she did not feel any lighter. She wanted to write more, but just then the baraat arrived and a few ladies came in and started doing last minute touch-ups before escorting her out. Ayesha couldn't even send what she had written. The laptop was left like that on her bed. Well the wedding went well and it now time for her to leave. She saw her dad standing next to the car in which she was to leave with her husband now. He would be last one, whom she would say goodbye. She felt like sitting with him again and talking her heart out, like old days. She reached him and hugged him tight and cried like she had never cried before. All that her dad said was, “Ayeshu you don't start something good by crying, keep a smile on you face. And you know beta, I love you too and you'll always be my daughter first.” with this he let her in the car and bid her good bye. He stood there, the car was out of sight and she kept looking at him till he was visible.

Recently I came across the term surrogacy, not knowing the exact meaning of it made me do a little research. What it came out to be was a bit annoying and a bit shocking for me. Surrogacy means to rent out one's womb to carry someone else's child. But how can a woman do that. How can she carry a child for someone she doesn't even know.

Before I put my views any further, I'll make it clear what exactly is the process. When a couple, by whatever reasons (other than impotency) are not able to give birth to a child, they look for another womb where the fetus can grow and then be delivered. The woman who agrees to carry that child becomes the surrogate mother. The egg and the sperm from the intended parents are taken, fertilized in a test tube and then planted inside the surrogate mother's womb.

Couples mostly from US, UK, France and some other European countries are more towards having a surrogate child and look for women from India to do so. This has many reasons, and its not that here it is safer or more hygienic. Its just the cost of it. In India its about fifth of the cost back in US or UK. But the question still lies, why does a woman want to do so? The answer is simple and yet complicated. Simple as it goes, the mere need of money makes them agree to do such a thing. I said its complicated because, our country is the one which has so much of money in it but still one part of the population has to take up such things to earn a living. Ours is not a poor country, but the pity is that the money is concentrated only in the richer section of the society and not equally divided. The flow is such that the rich becomes richer and the poor continues to be poor.

Dr. Nayna Patel, runs a clinic in the small city of Anand in Gujarat. She helps the lower and lower middle class women to earn some money through this. But this is becoming a profession for women who agree to be surrogate mothers. Its not once or twice they have done this, but its a number of times and they continue to deliver babies for different couples one after the other. They don’t realize what could be effect on their bodies as who would be looking after their nutrition and that there could be complications in getting pregnant so many time. For the money they would get, the women are ready to risk their lives. Leaving all moral values aside, woman are now out in the market renting their wombs.

Being a mother, having a baby is a gift from God, but even he would be regretting it now. If you are so unable to get pregnant, go ahead, adopt a child....There are so many small children who are living their lives in orphanages, just in the hope that someday a childless couple would come and take one of them along. That they too will have parents someday and lead a life with the joys of a family. The whole concept of surrogacy is crushing their dreams. After all, its a child developed in another woman's womb in any case. Then why not give a life to the ones who are born and are alone, rather than bringing new lives to this Earth!!!!

Yes, I have reached the age when the elder ones start telling you to think about marriage, and the funny part is - they can bring the topic at any time, anywhere. God knows how do they develop this skill, but all of them has it, yes ALL OF THEM. I have been the target of many such elders in my family. Oh! You must be thinking who I am. Me - who is sharing my experience without even knowing whether you would be interested in it or not. Well it actually doesn't matter what I am called. So I would call myself just an Indian girl. You can choose a name you want, anything - Tina, Mina, Ritu, Mitu etc.

So as I was saying, I wanted to get married, like most of us do, but I had some plans made for me. I am about to celebrate the silver jubilee of my life in a few months, and I had well planned to get a Degree till now and be employed somewhere. By the way, I am a Software Engineer, and a fresh one from the oven, called "Engineering College". So, the day I got that attached after my name, people in my family, near and far, started getting worried about me, specifically about my marriage. A lot of them asked too about what I am thinking about it, some suggested some guys (including a few NRIs - LOL) and some even got worried that I may have someone in my life that I would seek to marry. Well, apart from all these going on around me, I just thought of one thing. Would I be asked for my choice when its time to decide about the most important thing in my life?? The answer was a 'NO' or a 'MAYBE'... but it was not a 'Yes' for sure

Do us - the Indian Society, ever think about marriage this way. All the ones who have already passed through this very easily take the rights of making the decision on the behalf of their son or daughter. Why?? On what basis do they guarantee that the two, about to tie the knot, would be happy always? That they would fall in love?? Is it not that the elders are doing just what was done to them?

I have a lot of questions in my mind. I like a person; well I am in love with him. He loves me, cares about me, my feeling, my needs, my choices and my family. And to top it, he earns pretty well too. He is close enough to put his views and choices in front of me, to tell me things he felt bad about and loves me so much that he feels I am a part of him (Yes, guys like this do exist and its not imaginary !!).

Isn’t this that the family wants for their daughter, well they would also be looking for the same things in anybody the find out. And yes I forgot to add, he belongs to the same caste as me, one major parameter that is looked at when the search begins. Now if I have found someone like that, don’t I have the rights to ask my family to let me marry him? Do I get to ask them to wait till the time I plan to marry? Yes! I have. That’s what the youth would be saying. But when elders hear this, their obvious answer is, No! He’s not a guy upto your mark. But why?? That’s the question.

What I ask about is, why is this NO coming? Is it because, the parents get a feel that their child has grown up? Or is it because they develop an understanding to take a decision of their life? Can’t we plan out things in our life? Things like whom to marry and most importantly, when to marry.

The question is unanswered, and I feel it will remain so.....