Yes, I have reached the age when the elder ones start telling you to think about marriage, and the funny part is - they can bring the topic at any time, anywhere. God knows how do they develop this skill, but all of them has it, yes ALL OF THEM. I have been the target of many such elders in my family. Oh! You must be thinking who I am. Me - who is sharing my experience without even knowing whether you would be interested in it or not. Well it actually doesn't matter what I am called. So I would call myself just an Indian girl. You can choose a name you want, anything - Tina, Mina, Ritu, Mitu etc.

So as I was saying, I wanted to get married, like most of us do, but I had some plans made for me. I am about to celebrate the silver jubilee of my life in a few months, and I had well planned to get a Degree till now and be employed somewhere. By the way, I am a Software Engineer, and a fresh one from the oven, called "Engineering College". So, the day I got that attached after my name, people in my family, near and far, started getting worried about me, specifically about my marriage. A lot of them asked too about what I am thinking about it, some suggested some guys (including a few NRIs - LOL) and some even got worried that I may have someone in my life that I would seek to marry. Well, apart from all these going on around me, I just thought of one thing. Would I be asked for my choice when its time to decide about the most important thing in my life?? The answer was a 'NO' or a 'MAYBE'... but it was not a 'Yes' for sure

Do us - the Indian Society, ever think about marriage this way. All the ones who have already passed through this very easily take the rights of making the decision on the behalf of their son or daughter. Why?? On what basis do they guarantee that the two, about to tie the knot, would be happy always? That they would fall in love?? Is it not that the elders are doing just what was done to them?

I have a lot of questions in my mind. I like a person; well I am in love with him. He loves me, cares about me, my feeling, my needs, my choices and my family. And to top it, he earns pretty well too. He is close enough to put his views and choices in front of me, to tell me things he felt bad about and loves me so much that he feels I am a part of him (Yes, guys like this do exist and its not imaginary !!).

Isn’t this that the family wants for their daughter, well they would also be looking for the same things in anybody the find out. And yes I forgot to add, he belongs to the same caste as me, one major parameter that is looked at when the search begins. Now if I have found someone like that, don’t I have the rights to ask my family to let me marry him? Do I get to ask them to wait till the time I plan to marry? Yes! I have. That’s what the youth would be saying. But when elders hear this, their obvious answer is, No! He’s not a guy upto your mark. But why?? That’s the question.

What I ask about is, why is this NO coming? Is it because, the parents get a feel that their child has grown up? Or is it because they develop an understanding to take a decision of their life? Can’t we plan out things in our life? Things like whom to marry and most importantly, when to marry.

The question is unanswered, and I feel it will remain so.....